musaafir-e dasht

After a long time I have a feeling that I am standing at the crossroads. A decision has to be made but what exactly that decision should be, is a question which remains unanswered as yet. The conflict is not yet resolved. And I do not know how to get it resolved. Or probably one has to keep on living with some unresolved conflicts... But for how long...? That one does not know. I remember reading somewhere that if two paths are before you and on both of them you have to walk in the state of being 'separated' then you must opt for the one about which you are sure that it is the right one. At least you would be satisfied that you are on walking on the right path. Probably, the pain of separation will also become desirable on this path. And who knows it might one day lead you to the destination - the union you have been desiring for so long... As for the other path, you never know if it might lead you to a dead end. And a dead end is desired by no one... image source

Today Salwa and I visited the Bedil Library. It was my second visit, but for Salwa it was the first time. It is so ironic that we did not even know this amazing place existed on the face of the earth. It was only when we were doing our reserach projects last year that we came to know about it. Asma was working on Iqbal and she was referred to this place by our teachers. All of us were so busy with our respective researches that none of us bothered going to the Bedil Library. Two weeks ago, however, I promised myself that it was high time I visited the place. So I went. I just familiarised myself with their reference section and man, what a place it was! The best part was that the reference section housed Hasan Askari Sahab's entire collection of books. Four huge cupborads labelled as zakheera-e kutub, Muhammad Hasan Askari . And indeed what a treasure it was. I could not believe I was looking at the books that Askari Sahab must have read. Then I saw various books with his name writ...

Today when Ammi and I were having our evening tea in the small veranda of our house, I looked up at the sky and the thick gray clouds that were heavily floating in it. It reminded me of the evenings we used to experience in our hometown - a small and peaceful village in the Bhakkar district - during summers. Years and years ago when all three of us were studying in school, we used to spend our summer vacations there. Life, I think was way too peaceful back then. No worries at all. No apprehensions regarding the future... ... And then the call for maghrib prayers resonated all over. I again looked at the sky and saw that Ammi was heading for lounge. I got up and followed her... But something inside made me stop at the threshold that seperates the lounge and the veranda... I thought I had smelled something. A fragrance that Karachiites have not had a chance to experience since quite a long time. Yes, it was dust. I announced to Ammi that probably, a dust storm was about to come! And th...

I do not write much about politics nor do I like 'discussing' politics with people. I have developed a certain aversion to the process that people call 'arguing'. Probably that is why, I am not a very good public speaker. However, not writing or discussing about politics does not mean I do not think about it... =) That, I do. I am no analyst, nor do I wish to be one. But some recent events have compelled me to write a few lines about two scholars who were martyred just a couple of days ago. So here's a short post that I just wrote... Aurya Maqbool Jan on Dr Naeemi's martyrdom. Read on. I personally, however, feel that Maulana Orakzai's killing was also a part of the chain events. i.e. the way it all happened. Right after the martyrdom of Maulana, Dr Naeemi was made the target. And apparently the TTP operating in Orakzai claimed the responsibility of carrying out the suicide bombings. Imagine the audacity. It shows that it was all a planned attempt to creat...

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I feel so numb at the moment. Speechless, probably would be the right word to describe the state I am in. I feel as if the moment I utter a word, something disastrous would happen. Not to anybody else. But to me. I try to get things out of my head, but I simply cannot. Everything that is happening around is too much to bear. I want to write and speak about so many things but I cannot. But I will , inshaAllah. I know that I will, as soon as this 'tongue-tied' phase of mine gets over. I do not want it to be an outpouring anymore. I want it to come in a serene manner. Not like the waves in a tempestuous sea, but like ripples that appear on the surface of the water when a small pebble is thrown in to it. But ripples go away too quickly... And so do the tempestuous waves. So it probably has to come like a river that flows endlessly... Whoever said it, said it so beautifully: "Baat karni mujhe mushkil kabhi aisi tou na thi Jaisi abb hai teri mehfil kabhi aisi tou na thi'...

Okay, now this is something really interesting and indeed plausible. I mean the comparison. Read on, Article: Harf-e Raaz az Auriya Maqbool Jan And yes, I loved the title of the article. Very, very apt. Those who know the complete verse would definitely agree. P.S. Uni's analysis of the Obama-speech is also worth reading.

... I am missing you loads, Asma. Please come back soon! May Allah bless you... Why do friends have to leave? And this is just temporary... What am I going to do after a few months...

“That day shall a man flee from his brother, and from his mother and his father, and from his wife and his children. Every man that Day will have enough to make him careless of others.” (Surah ‘Abasa 80: 34 to 37)

I am so confused about everything ... yes, everything! I just want to see The Truth and unfortunately in present times it is the most difficult thing to do. There are so many representations that the reality remains elusive. Maulana Rum (rahimahullah) said: imaan tamheez ast, kufr bay-tamheezeest! And how very true... I have diagnosed the disease but I am scared about going to the physician. My 'self' is stopping me from doing that! That I am sure of... At times, this life full of representations seems to be nothing but a burden. A prison, indeed. The desire to free from the prison gets so strong that it is almost frightening. The state of dying before the death has to be achieved or else this restlessness will continue. Du'a... probably is THE best remedy at hand. For it is always accompanied by a promise. A promise of acceptance from The Friend.