musaafir-e dasht

I have been thinking of resuming writing for quite some time now and today I finally mustered up the courage to visit the 'create post' page of my blog. I feel a certain anxiety knocking  down my senses at the moment. Writing used to come so naturally once and now it comes with effort. What is good about it is that it is still has not abandoned me altogether. Like old friends, who have all gone about their ways, it still, at times, comes back and reminds me of the connection we once shared. All good things eventually come to an end - I just hope that does not happen with me and writing, at least not until this transient life comes to an end... What prompted me to write down this post after such a long time is my recent meeting with one of my teachers, with whom I had absolutely lost contact during the last five years. Life is very demanding. Its phases, very complicated. The responsibilities it encumbers us with, endless...  زندگی تیرے تعاقب میں یہ لوگ  اتنا چلتے ہی...

I had always seen the beauty of my country in pictures, but beholding It with naked eye was an altogether a different experienc - a humbling one it was! I can never forget those awe-inspiring moments spent with husband in those serene lands where, for the first time in life, I felt the joy of being so close to nature... I had once read somewhere, "there's no wifi in forest, but you'll find a better connection." For the first time in my life I experienced that 'connection' which had hitherto remained hidden from my perception. The sight of the mountains and sky high trees covered with clouds early in the morning, and the sound of the Neelam River flowing, that came from somewhere deep down was an experience, that will forever remain etched in my memory. I will always remember how it felt like standing against the picket fence in the backyard of the resort where we were staying in, gazing at the magnificent beauty of the far away mountains of Kashmir, only the ...

... give good tidings to the patient, who, when a suffering visits them, say: "We certainly belong to Allah, and to Him we are bound to return." Those are the ones upon whom there are blessings from their Lord, and mercy as well; and those are the ones who are on the right path. - Al-Baqarah , 156-157 Yesterday's sunset brought with it the grim news of the setting of yet another shining star of this Ummah.   A star - that's what his name in Urdu meant - indeed he was. Arif Billah Maulana Shah Hakeem Muhammad Akhtar Saheb passed away last night in Karachi. This insignificant is way too devastated to write anything about him at this moment. Last night, however, when I opened up Ruh ki biimaariyaa~ aur un ka ilaaj  - a classic manual for getting rid of spiritual maladies, which Hazratwala recommended to all of his disciples and anybody who had any kind of connection of with him - I came across this poignant poem penned down by Hazrat rahimahullah himself when his ...

The heart burns with desire, Perfection, it seeks, Dreams, it wishes to fulfill… It dreams of treading the path, Walked by the people of Noor . Light they are, Noorun ‘ala noor, Light upon light, they become. The heart that dreams, The heart that wishes, Is hitherto unaware, Of the reality of the path; The silence, The solitude, The pain, The breaking of the idol called ‘desire’, All come before the fire of Love Makes one a majnun , And takes away the burden of consciousness. When the lover annihilates, And only the Beloved remains, Only then it is, Light upon light. Whosoever He wills, He guides. - Bint Akram

Just read this reminder on Facebook posted by Timelenders' Yameenuddin Ahmed: Beware! Our qualification should help us recognize our ultimate purpose. If it isn't doing so then we are at a new heights of ignorance. Isn't this frightening? The fear of losing one's ultimate purpose while one moves up the ladder of educational qualification. What are all these certificates worth if they cannot help me remember my ultimate purpose in this life? In that case, they are only certificates of ignorance.

source I could not sleep last night. Have only had one or two such restless nights in my life before the last one... I feel so sick of television and the noise that comes out of it is getting unbearable with every passing day. Sheer cacophony. But there is so much going on in the country at the moment that nobody in the family would dare to unplug the idiot box, which continues to transmit its idiocy into our lives. Anyway, this post is not about the hazards of the idiot box. I will have ample occasions in the upcoming days and years to rant about them when I will practically try to get rid of this device in my life with the help of Allah SWT and those around me. This post is about my country, which is probably going through the toughest of times in its history. The events that have materialised lately should plunge all of us into the thinking mode. The issues that are haunting my mind at present are as follows:  1. Who is Tahir ul Qadri? We know he is a self-procl...

For the past eight years, December Fourth has been an important date because of a personal reason. Incidentally, it seems to have become even more significant because of today; I conducted my last exam at the university. The turning point in life had come earlier but today my stint as a teacher finally came to an end. I surely did not want this day to go undocumented. I have mixed feelings. In fact, the day was filled with mixed feelings... The weather has become a wee bit chilly in Karachi so I woke up in Fajr welcoming the change. Hastened to the university at around 8 am and reached the exam room at 9.05 am. The exam started at 9.13 am and then I was all to myself. I spent three hours reminiscing about my life at this university, first as a student and then as a teacher. Memories came flooding. I consciously made an effort to think about all the teachers and my friends who had touched my life in innumerable ways. People I can never pay back. I thought about Asma. I ...

Ramadan 14, 1433 AH Once drinking deep of that divinest anguish, How could I seek the empty world again? - Emily Bronte I set out for the university at around 7.30 am this morning. One of the most pleasant morns in this Ramadan. Alhamdulillah. When I got on to the bus, I was reminded of the book on which I had spent around twenty minutes last night in order to convert and clean up its format to suit my kindle - The Embattled Innocence: Recollections of a Muslim Relief Worker by Suleman Ahmer. After paying my fare to the conductor, I pulled out my kindle from my handbag and started reading the preface and went on to read the first chapter, at the end of which, I was so moved to tears, that I had to shut my reading device off and give myself some time to think, and rethink. By this time, I saw the huge gates of the NED University passing by on my left hand side. I prepared myself to get off at the next stop - my university. In a dazed state of mind, I alighted the bus...

This is a strange morning. A beautiful one, indeed. While I write in solitude, my folks remain fast asleep. The parents will be travelling to another city today, and they do need proper rest before they set out for the journey. I look outside my window; my vision of the sky is impaired by the thick grey clouds that cover the Karachi sky today. Moonsoon, it seems, is on its way...  Happiness indeed is a gift of Allah (swt), the sweetness of which multiplies specially after one has experienced sorrow.  Sorrow, too is a gift of Allah, for it is sorrow that helps one realise how helpless man is, be it in the times of need or sufficiency. In both the situations man remains reliant upon Allah; there is none but Him who could remove our sorrow; there is none but Him who can lighten up our path.  It takes a moment for the life to get transformed. You do not even realise, and in a split second you find yourself standing at that bend on the road of your life tur...

Is it not just LOVELY? What a sight, indeed! Imagine how Allah SWT provides sustenance to a being as helpless as this little kitten who was sometime left in this corner by its 'mother' ... It was unable to make any movement besides that caused by breathing, which displayed signs of life in it. Sometime we too were just like it ... On growing up no matter how much we feel that the world is at our feet, the reality remains that we are always as helpless as this little kitten in our journey of life... May Allah give all of us an opportunity to taste the pleasure of surrendering ultimately to His will. Whether we like it or not, the Will, after all, is always His. May He make our nature pliant enough to fully comply with His Will in all matters of life.

It is in their noble deaths that Allah SWT proves the sincerity and truthfulness of our Ulama and Mashaaikh to those who doubt!

Centre has to be just one. It could be anything but it is one thing around which a man's entire life revolves; it could be wealth, (love of a) woman, or God! Two centres cannot coexist in one heart!

  SOURCE A strange observation: I conducted an exam at my university last week. There was a test item in one of the questions which required the students to match the given meanings with their corresponding words present in the reading passage handed out to them. One of the given meanings was 'outcomes' which corresponded to the word 'consequences' in the passage. Interestingly, ninety percent of the class chose the word 'progress' as their answer! Since then I am constantly wondering as to the ways in which our mentality has been conditioned in the present day materialistic world. Were not we the ones who struggled till the last breath without even being bothered about the 'consequences', for we used to put our trust in the Supreme Being and enter the sea of Love without thinking if we had any swimming aids!? Nowadays, however, it is the thought of 'progress' that propels us to struggle so we could achieve the 'consequences' of our c...

SOURCE So today I am writing my blog at 8.15 am! Wow! Now, such a relaxed state of mind is definitely a result of something. Yes, I am done with exams. ALHAMDULILLAH! The night before the last seemed like a never-ending one. While gulping down coffee and biscuits at short intervals (and also feeling guilty for doing so! Sigh), I felt my anxiety levels being pushed to the limits! At one moment, I just had to STOP writing (typing, that is) and get myself on the jaae-namaaz . Could hardly take it any longer. After spending almost a good half an hour there, I resumed work. Pretty calm this time. So very calm that after listening to the recording of the interview, on which my assignment was to be based, for the one last time, I was badly yawning at around 4.30 am. "I think I should go to sleep," told myself. Further reassured myself that with such a tired state of mind I would take far more time than required to complete the work that I could otherwise do in just two hours. Even ...

The Onset By N.A. The silence approaches As time stealthily moves And fades into the darkness Of a cool autumn night - That time of the year When sorrows flit across the landscape of heart Before settling into it like dead autumn leaves. In Poets' Corner image source

I remember Dr I.S. once saying that the words we read are not mere words. They are rather the marks on the heart... I was reminded of this thought just a while ago when I had finished reading a short story by a very famous Pakistani writer who was an eminent figure in the "Progressive Writers" alliance. I won't name the writer of the title of the story here for various reasons that I prefer keeping to myself. What I wish to share in this post is my response to that particular work. There are some works of literature after reading which you feel like throwing up. It was one of that kind. I know it is a very layman-kind-of a response coming from a student of literature! At times such simplistic remarks help us figure out our own condition of the heart after reading something. Literature, as it was pointed out, is 'marks on heart'. Despite all their art and craft, some works simply make one palpably feel their hearts being plunged into darkness... A sense of great ...

source sabr is the only thing that palpably enlarges one's soul and adorns it with wisdom.  

Today, Dr I.S. said something that simply shook me from within. He said, Learning is not fun. Learning is labour! And then he quoted and incident in which a person came to Mawlana Rasheed Ahmad Gangohi rahimahullah , saying that he did not 'enjoy' doing dhikr . Mawlana rahimahullah responded by saying that this was an area where one should not even seek after the acquisition of pleasure. If enjoyment is the goal then one should do other things like playing (here, Dr I.S. mentioned a name of some game, which I am unable to recall at the moment, but I hope the meaning has been communicated, insha'Allah )... What actually made me shudder was the thought of my own approach towards learning and the ideas that we as teachers pass on to our students. Do not we always focus on making learning 'fun' so as not to 'bore' our students? Who decides what is boring and what is fun? What sensibility are we creating in young minds? Will it not urge them to go only afte...

John Keats described Negative Capability in one of his letters as following: Negative Capability, that is when man is capable of being in uncertainties, Mysteries, doubts, without any irritable reaching after fact & reason-- ... Today, I was taken aback with my own reaction towards certain apparently insignificant happenings. I felt a certain kind of sorrow at the shifting of certain inanimate objects around me. Is it not natural that we do shift things around? It is just that at times we imperceptibly develop such a strong and subtle attachment with things and people around us that we are not even conscious of their place and significance in our lives. They become a part of us. It is only when these things or people leave their assigned places, that we come to realise how much they mattered to us when we did not even take note of them. This, for me, is a mystery. Why is replacement necessary when one has no desire for it. Replacement, as life tells us, however, is necessa...

The verse that is constantly resonating in my mind for quite some time now is: آج کچھ درد میرے دل میں سوا ہوتا ہے