musaafir-e dasht

I have been thinking of resuming writing for quite some time now and today I finally mustered up the courage to visit the 'create post' page of my blog. I feel a certain anxiety knocking  down my senses at the moment. Writing used to come so naturally once and now it comes with effort. What is good about it is that it is still has not abandoned me altogether. Like old friends, who have all gone about their ways, it still, at times, comes back and reminds me of the connection we once shared. All good things eventually come to an end - I just hope that does not happen with me and writing, at least not until this transient life comes to an end... What prompted me to write down this post after such a long time is my recent meeting with one of my teachers, with whom I had absolutely lost contact during the last five years. Life is very demanding. Its phases, very complicated. The responsibilities it encumbers us with, endless...  زندگی تیرے تعاقب میں یہ لوگ  اتنا چلتے ہی...

August 14, 2014. Thirtieth year of my life begins. I have never had such strange feelings on any of my birthdays as this particular one. The twenty-ninth year was quite happening, with me getting married and stepping into an altogether new life - I often call this change as having  been born anew. Living with new people is not as difficult as accepting them as they are is. The most important advice that a teacher of mine gave me in my last meeting with him was: accept people with all their imperfections. Remain patient, for the reward is for the one who remains patient. Husband also keeps on giving me a similar advice: learn to give time to people, and everything around you. Learn to give time to yourself. And, my only resolution for the year that has just began is to learn the lesson of patience. To learn is very well. I feel bogged down with a great sense of responsibility. An unseen responsibility of so many things that keep my mind preoccupied. I wish to once again explore t...

Me (talking to a close friend, S, very seriously about person XYZ who is related to me, and things that bother me about that person): XYZ is not bad at heart! S: Who is bad at heart in this world? Nobody. A man is neither Satan nor an Angel. Treat them as humans! This surely was a timely reminder!

I had always seen the beauty of my country in pictures, but beholding It with naked eye was an altogether a different experienc - a humbling one it was! I can never forget those awe-inspiring moments spent with husband in those serene lands where, for the first time in life, I felt the joy of being so close to nature... I had once read somewhere, "there's no wifi in forest, but you'll find a better connection." For the first time in my life I experienced that 'connection' which had hitherto remained hidden from my perception. The sight of the mountains and sky high trees covered with clouds early in the morning, and the sound of the Neelam River flowing, that came from somewhere deep down was an experience, that will forever remain etched in my memory. I will always remember how it felt like standing against the picket fence in the backyard of the resort where we were staying in, gazing at the magnificent beauty of the far away mountains of Kashmir, only the ...

Imagine: you listlessly go and sit in the company of a pious friend of Allah (SWT). You have no idea what awaits you. You simply go and sit with adab  waiting for the Shaykh to speak. You yourself do not know what is it that you seek. No specific questions. Just utter confusion caused by the rust that corrodes the heart... The Shaykh begins to speak and the first thing he says strikes a chord. You are jerked out of your listless state because that is exactly what you unconsciously wanted to hear in those moments. Those specific answers to unspecified questions... Blessed, indeed, are those moments. It is nothing but Allah's Mercy that He clarifies things for us and brings us back to the focus, to Him! Had this not been the case, we would always be continuing with our lives listlessly... 

There is no better way to start your day than rising up early, offering fajr prayers on time (in the Mosque congregation, especially for males), reciting some Qur’an unhurriedly with reflection, doing some exercise/jogging and eating a healthy breakfast – even if its Sunday Morning! The key to all of this, of course, is going to bed early! -  Mufti Muhammad ibn Adam al-Kawthari I realised the truth in this statement today. May Allah SWT help all of us follow a routine that pleases Him SWT. This inconsiderable surely needs to review her daily routine!

For the past eight years, December Fourth has been an important date because of a personal reason. Incidentally, it seems to have become even more significant because of today; I conducted my last exam at the university. The turning point in life had come earlier but today my stint as a teacher finally came to an end. I surely did not want this day to go undocumented. I have mixed feelings. In fact, the day was filled with mixed feelings... The weather has become a wee bit chilly in Karachi so I woke up in Fajr welcoming the change. Hastened to the university at around 8 am and reached the exam room at 9.05 am. The exam started at 9.13 am and then I was all to myself. I spent three hours reminiscing about my life at this university, first as a student and then as a teacher. Memories came flooding. I consciously made an effort to think about all the teachers and my friends who had touched my life in innumerable ways. People I can never pay back. I thought about Asma. I ...

Back here after such a long time. The mind is so jumbled. Not enough clarity so as to be able to write something organised. Major changes in life. Happy about folks. Missing old times. Looking nostalgically at the trees while walking the road that leads to the department. Once friends used to walk that road with me. Then I started traversing it alone. Eventually I will stop walking it in a few days' time (literally, I mean. Metaphorically the road has been taken, alhamdulillah). So many little things to write about. I keep on listing them in my mind all day long and then end up writing absolutely nothing... At the moment what occupies my mind is the conversation I had with a dearest friend yesterday. Years younger than myself, and about to get married, this little friend shared such valuable advice regarding marriage and life in general. She made me realise how blessed we were. Her talk contained such precious reminders that I felt the mist clearing off my mind. Alhamdulillah. S...

September 3, 2012. The change begins. Alhamdulillahi bi n'imatihi tattimussualehaat !

Ramadan 14, 1433 AH Once drinking deep of that divinest anguish, How could I seek the empty world again? - Emily Bronte I set out for the university at around 7.30 am this morning. One of the most pleasant morns in this Ramadan. Alhamdulillah. When I got on to the bus, I was reminded of the book on which I had spent around twenty minutes last night in order to convert and clean up its format to suit my kindle - The Embattled Innocence: Recollections of a Muslim Relief Worker by Suleman Ahmer. After paying my fare to the conductor, I pulled out my kindle from my handbag and started reading the preface and went on to read the first chapter, at the end of which, I was so moved to tears, that I had to shut my reading device off and give myself some time to think, and rethink. By this time, I saw the huge gates of the NED University passing by on my left hand side. I prepared myself to get off at the next stop - my university. In a dazed state of mind, I alighted the bus...

Just came across this excerpt from a book A Sense of Seige: The Geopolitics of Islam and the West   here , about the pseudo intellectuals, which sadly Pakistan is rife with: This is a real tragedy. These intellectuals are unable to question their positions and their assumed mission because they have no intellectual, academic or informative resource other than the West to rely on. Western sources are their only assets; and once their link to these sources is lost, they will be abandoned in the middle of a desert. Sadly, these intellectuals are unable to find the spiritual energy and intellectual courage necessary to save themselves and their countries, to preserve their roots, because that would mean denial of what has become their identity. In this case, “the decisive hour,” as defined by Marx -- a concept that evolved into “class suicide” -- takes place, when a part of the ruling class separates itself and joins the revolutionary class. These intellectuals ultimately expect th...

This is a strange morning. A beautiful one, indeed. While I write in solitude, my folks remain fast asleep. The parents will be travelling to another city today, and they do need proper rest before they set out for the journey. I look outside my window; my vision of the sky is impaired by the thick grey clouds that cover the Karachi sky today. Moonsoon, it seems, is on its way...  Happiness indeed is a gift of Allah (swt), the sweetness of which multiplies specially after one has experienced sorrow.  Sorrow, too is a gift of Allah, for it is sorrow that helps one realise how helpless man is, be it in the times of need or sufficiency. In both the situations man remains reliant upon Allah; there is none but Him who could remove our sorrow; there is none but Him who can lighten up our path.  It takes a moment for the life to get transformed. You do not even realise, and in a split second you find yourself standing at that bend on the road of your life tur...

Life, Literature and Nostalgia By Naeema Akram This is love: to fly toward a secret sky, to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment. First to let go of life. Finally, to take a step without feet. -           Rumi Long ago, in my childhood, that is, I remember an elderly man telling me an inspiring tale about Saladin (Salahuddin Ayyubi), the famous Muslim hero. I was told that Saladin had memorised diwaans and diwaans of Arabic poetry. This piece of information got the precocious child in me thinking. I wondered how was that possible? Saladin – the great Muslim general who I had admired because of the stories I had read and heard about his bravery and kindness in my childhood – and poetry seemed like two worlds apart at that point in time. I was precocious, but some questions take their due time before we are blessed with their life-changing answers… I was a science student all my life. Racking my brains with Physics, Chemi...

I did not want this day to go unrecorded. Details, I shall write in my personal diary. Here, I shall only say that in all the arduous times of patience, prayers of repentance and tears of regret at letting one's nafs go astray in weaker moments, the Sattar is always there to watch over us. He watches. He listens. He responds... ... He makes you meet an Abdus Sattar - the sabab from the musabbab al asbaab! Whoever fears Allah, He brings forth a way out for him,and provides him (with what he needs) from where he does not even imagine. And whoever places his trust in Allah, He is sufficient for him. Surely Allah is to accomplish His purpose. Allah has set a measure for every thing. (Surah Talaaq, Verses 2-3)

After the History of Ideas session today, we gathered in Iftikhar Saheb's office for some post-session chit chat, which usually involves gems of wisdom coming from a teacher who we all hold in great esteem. Today, alhamdulillah, he looked elated at the success of these sessions being held. He was happy that  finally the department was displaying some signs of liveliness and intellectual vigour. He said that paraphernalia was not as important as the presence of (good) people around. Further, there was always a possibility of finding good and sincere people even in dilapidated environments (such as that of our department =D)! Then he recited the following couplet by Ahmad Faraz, ڈھونڈ اجڑے ہوئے لوگوں میں وفا کے موتی یہ خزانے تجھے ممکن ہیں خرابوں میں ملیں   What an apt saying to motivate people like us, who tend to lose heart when faced with even the minutest of difficulties! Then he recounted his first journey on which he was accompanied by another teacher of mine to Ha...

  Source An 'anonymous' reader has posed a question in a comment which s/he did not want me to publish on my blog. This post is a response to their query (although I do not find myself in the least capable of answering such questions) and, therefore, might evade the understanding of the general readers of the blog as they remain unaware of the context in which it is being written. My apologies for that. The only way to repent for any kind of sin (irrespective of it being big or small) is to do sincere tawba . Just ask Allah subhaanahu wa ta'ala for forgiveness keeping His greatness in view. Ask for it in your heart. Ask for it while sitting, standing or reclining. Ask for it after salaah . Beseech Him through the tears that have a language of their own. Implore Him in the solitude of the night when all else are asleep. Speak to Him while being conscious of the fact that He is Sam'i al Baseer (the One who listens and the One who sees!). When you do this, just ...

Just read this excellent defining of the difference between 'needs' and 'desires' here Allah (Most Exalted) says; ‘whereas for the one who feared to stand before his Lord, and restrained his self from the (evil) desire,[79:40] the Paradise will be the abode.[79:41] So, have you seen him who has taken his desires as his god, and Allah has let him go astray, despite having knowledge, and has sealed his ear and his heart, and put a cover on his eye? Now who will guide him after Allah? Still, do you not take lesson? (45:23) ———————————————————————- A need is something that is necessary for an individual to live a healthy life. Needs are distinguished from desires because a deficiency would cause a clear negative outcome, such as dysfunction or death. Desire is a sense of longing for a person or object or hoping for an outcome. ————————————————————————— These desires may be permissible or impermissible. The Shariah decides these limits and their rulings. ...

During my walk from the Science to the Arts faculty this morning, the tree in the picture made me halt for a few good moments. It seemed so much like life these days...

Abbaji, my paternal grandfather, Hakeem Muhammad Idrees Khan, passed away on 24 Ziqa’ad, 1432 AH (October 23, 2011). He was 88 years old - the last grandparent I had. He studied at the famous Tibyya College , Delhi, and remained a practicing Hakeem throughout his life. Allah had blessed him with so much shifa in his medicine that people used to come from far away places to get themselves treated. He lived an extremely humble life in a small town, Kaloor Kot, situated at approximately 4-5 hours drive from Multan. He was a disciple of his father-in-law, who we all lovingly remember as nanaji – another pious friend of God, Hafiz Abdul Ghafoor rahimahullah, who was given the khilafat by Hazrat Shah Abdul Raheem Raipuri, Hazrat Shah Abdul Qadir Raipuri, and Hazrat Munshi Rahmat Ali Jaalandhari (May Allah have mercy on all of them). Towards the end of Abbaji’s life, we often used to ask him if he was also given the khilafat by his Shaykh ( nanaji ) and he always evaded the question… It w...

27.09.11, 10.16 am Just a usual morning. I am sitting in my office right now, and my mind is a hotchpotch of so many ideas. The weather is pleasant today alhamdulillah. It’s cloudy and breezy! Don’t know if it would rain today… There are so many things on my mind, that I seriously feel the need to unclutter it. Just a while ago a student came for some counselling. Now this is something I myself am in great need of all the time :D … Okay, I am not revealing any details of that matter here because it was her personal problem :) I am thinking of doing many things right now! I am thinking of getting up and make myself some tea. I am thinking of going home by the public bus and not keep on waiting for the van which is going to leave at 2 pm! I am thinking of pulling something out of the reading stack which is increasing in size with every passing day. But this is all in my head right now and due to the extreme laziness that I am feeling at the moment, I don’t think any of my mental pl...